Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
