So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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