She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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