look no pants
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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