I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
