What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
