party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
