I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
