You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize