I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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