I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
