it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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