two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
