i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
