You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
