if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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