if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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