why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
