So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
