I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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