Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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