i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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