this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
