I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize