About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
