I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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