I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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