He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
