i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
