I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
