I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
