First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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