Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
