Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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