Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.

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(254): View more from Texas

The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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(+61): View more from Australia

it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'

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(812): View more from Indiana

I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.

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(817): View more from Texas

I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.

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