I'm gonna have a badass scar
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
