his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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