so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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