Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
