I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
