Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
