i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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