I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
