that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
