I didn't shave. On purpose
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
