i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize