There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
