We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
