I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
