areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
my poor anus
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
