You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize