if only i could text you this smell
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
did you just send me my own nude
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
