So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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