Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
