If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
