we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
