lets start a swedish sibling band together
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
