Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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