Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
