If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize