I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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