I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She announced her abortion via fbk
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
