U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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