True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't deserve a penis
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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