From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
