yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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