Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
